Lessons From The Divorce Of Jon Gosseling - 3 Tips For Dads In Divorce

By Jason Roberts

No one likes to go through a divorce, that goes without saying. Unfortunately, 40% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce as of 2008. That means 4 out of 10 homes will be broken, Jon and Kate being one of them. This takes a heavy toll on the entire family; man, woman, and children (all 8 of them). Sometimes, despite the best efforts of the husband and wife to reconcile, divorce becomes inevitable. While the woman does suffer, sometimes greatly, it is the man who's suffering is overlooked. Women, on average, come out in better condition after divorce proceedings are over. Men, on the other hand are left to deal with alimony, asset redistribution, child support, custody troubles, depression, and blood-sucking lawyers, often without any support. While Jon's divorce is different from others, there are a few things all fathers can do to come out better.

The first thing you want to do is prepare mentally. Whether you expect a clean or dirty fight from your spouse, you should still prepare for the worst. Prepare mentally by defining what you feel you are properly entitled to and hold your ground. Prepare for high emotions, tension, stress, and heated exchanges. Perhaps the most effective thing you can do is to help yourself is to find a support group or a good friend that you can share your feelings with. Statistics have shown that male divorcees were up to 6 times more likely to have depression. You should also prepare for an unfair court battle, case in point Kramer vs. Kramer. The courts almost always favor a competent mother to a competent father.

The second thing you want to do is prepare financially and legally. It's very important you find proper legal counsel, preferably one that is referred to you and who will go to the trenches for you, and set aside money for your defense. If you have skeletons in your closet, prepare to deal with them with your counselor, don't go on public and admit to an affair (not very wise on Jon's part). Also, you might want to keep an organized and clear journal to present in your defense. Fill it with videos, photos, receipts, times, places and events, and show it to your lawyer. It's also very important that you start lining up credible witness that will vouch for you.

Financially, you should cancel joint credit cards, or risk paying her debts in addition to yours. Take an inventory of all your assets and debts and make photo copies of important documents, e.g. bank statements, pay stubs, tax returns, etc. Go back at least three years.

The third thing to do is take care of your children. By this I mean, realize that, depending on age or maturity, this will be a turbulent time for them. Whether you have 1 or 8 kids, make it clear that despite the divorce, you are still there for them. Try to keep your relationship between you and your kids untouched by your marital troubles. Play more with them, attend kids parties, play dates, social functions, etc. You might also want to consider a enrolling your kids in counseling if you see it necessary. And do not, play them against their mother. Be the best father you can be.

While Jon is at a disadvantage with all the exposure and having a soon-to-be-ex who filled for divorce first (that Kate has really got her stuff together), you could learn from his mistakes. Just be more careful.

Your goal shouldn't be to destroy your spouse and take everything, just take what is rightfully yours; fatherhood and integrity. - 29960

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Superfoods and Beyond: A Basic Guide to Raising a Healthy Baby

By Jayde Johannsen

Being a new parent is quite an undertaking, especially if you're doing it for the first time. Many of the different activities that occur during a child's formative years will shape him or her for years to come, and responsible parents are always trying their best to make sure that their child's home environment is healthy, safe, and secure.

Aside from general household safety, one of the biggest and most important aspects of early development is ensuring a positive and healthy start to consuming food. Most children used to start out breastfeeding, but towards the 1970s, a number of parents started switching to formula. A number of studies have been done in the past few decades, and all of them seem to draw their own conclusions, ultimately making the research inconclusive. One thing has been a reoccuring theme time and time again, and that is that children who are actually breastfed seem to have much lower rates of obesity in childhood and adult life. Therefore, mothers might consider going with breast feeding until more research is done.

Aside from breast feeding, the other option is to use either milk or formula. While some children experience allergies at an early age, most will be able to handle and digest milk and formula alike. For that six or seven percent of infants who clearly have allergies to milk, an excellent option besides cow's milk is actually goat's milk. Long popular in Europe, goat's milk is actually markedly closer in structure to milk from humans, and is an excellent substitute for breast feeding. You might want to consult your pediatrician on whether or not additional iron or B12 vitamin is a good idea, since these are the only two things goat milk is lacking.

Between four and six months of age is a good time to consider switching a child from breastfeeding or drinking formula to actual solid food. The best way to see if it is time is to pay attention to how hungry your child seems, and if placing solids in their mouth automatically prompts a tongue reflex for him or her to spit them out. Most children switch to solid foods between six months and one year of age.

This step from formula or milk to solids is a very important part of nutrition, as it is the first introduction of any sort of solid substance into your child's body. As significant as that is, choosing wisely what materials should be introduced is absolutely crucial for health in life later. Making the choice to not just buy baby food in jars that is laden with preservatives and chemicals, but to take the extra time to produce food at home, can really go a long way towards improving a child's health.

Don't expect your child to immediately switch exclusively to solids. You might need to have a lot of patience with switching from a bottle to a spoon, but under no circumstances should you puree the solids and put them into the bottle. In addition to a learning experience on nutrition, switching to solids is also hugely about learning how to physically eat. You will not help your child out by making them think that solids come in liquid form.

Excellent food choices for those first meals are simple vegetables and fruits that are easy to digest and to puree, too. Some of the best bests are sweet potatoes, apples, bananas, pears, peas, and carrots. Be sure to always cook them thoroughly, but don't overboil them, as that will cook out many of the vitamins and minerals, too. Most childen eat just fruits and vegetables for around six months before adding additional types of food, such as pastas and cereals.

While the experience of making sure that your child is well nutritioned can be a little nerve-wracking, after a year or two, it will become significantly easier. Also, the work that you do on your child's diet early in life actually can influence his or her tastes later, so avoiding overly sugary foods and processed items is putting him or her on the right path to an overall healthy life. - 29960

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Is Their A God Up There?

By L.J. James

There once was a young couple who lived in a beautiful town. They had the best of everything. Their love was strong and real. When their first child was born she was the most beautiful child they had ever seen.The couple believed their life to be perfect.

One day when their Daughter was about seven years old the Couple was in a car crash.Checking his wife right away the husband was relived to see she was ok. They both had received only a few scratches.They turned to check on their young daughter and as soon as they saw her both of them burst into tears.The wife started screaming NO GOD ! PLEASE GOD NO ! Their pain was felt by anyone and everyone who happened to be around them that day. The Beautiful young child had passed on and left this world .

During the funeral the deceased child's mother kept asking why ? Why my child? oh dear Lord why? People paying there respects to this wonderful couples most beautiful child tried to console her. They told her things like "It is the Lords will" and "She is in Heaven now" These things did not help the child's Mother and she cursed God Saying to the People "There is no God" for if there was such a God how could he allow something so terrible to happen? Surely he would have saved my child and she would still be here with us!!

Years passed by as they always do and the pain this Couple felt started to ease. They had more children over the years, all very beautiful None quite as beautiful as their first one.Their life went back to being as close to perfect as can be.But Every time the women heard something bad had happened in the world it reinforced her belief that there was no God and no Heaven up above,For surely no God would allow such terrible things to happen in this world !!!

One day as the Woman was walking to the store she heard these screams "NO LORD PLEASE LORD NO" The tone of the screams took her back to the death of her child and she ran toward the sound of them. She saw the woman who was screaming and behind her she could see a building on fire, My Child is in there Screamed the woman! Pointing to the building engulfed in flames. Knowing the pain this woman would go threw and not wishing it on anyone she raced into the building. Flames shot at her and she could feel them burning her but the pain was some where else and did not hurt her .As the flames got larger and the heat got much hotter the woman thought this is what hell must be like! Then she thought but there is no hell for if there is No God and No Heaven then there can't be a Hell can there? These thoughts passed threw the woman's mind as she felt herself begin to grow tired.

As She felt herself about to pass out the Women saw a child in the distance and with new found strength she started walking towards the child. As she got closer she could see it was the most beautiful young girl she had ever seen . When she reached the child the child spoke hello mother it is I your Daughter the one killed in that car accident those many years ago. No the Woman said you are gone your Dead. Dead yes I may be Mother but gone no I have never left you .I have always been in your heart and you in mine. But I am with the Father now in the most Wonderful Kingdom imaginable. With who? asked the Woman , The Father God answered the child the one you denounced upon my death. No said the woman there can't be a GOD or a heaven For surely no God would allow the Terrible things to Happen that happen upon this earth. Terrible things are done by terrible people answered the child and they will answer for their sins in the afterlife have no fear of that my Mother, The Lord will see that justice is done.

But what of you asked the Mother you where not taken from me by a terrible person it was an accident why did the Lord take you from me. The Child smiled at her Mother and spoke Mother what you see as the most terrible thing ever is not. For I am in the Kingdom of the Lord and there is no greater reward then that ! My life on Earth was short Mother, I agree with you on that but Mother let me let you in on a little secret "All life on Earth is short" It is just a blink of the eye to the Father. Miss me Mother for I know you always will, But have faith in the Father for if you believe in him and follow his words you will be with me again one day and then you will feel no pain or sorrow ever again. The Mother reached down picked up her child closing her eyes and hugging the child to her bosom, She heard a voice that was not her Daughters say "I will always Love you my Child"

The woman opened her eyes and she saw lights and heard sirens and the voices of many people. Not sure what was going on she looked down at her child only to see that she was not holding her child but a small young boy. The Woman who she had seen screaming was grabbing for this child saying Thank you oh thank you Lord for sending this Woman to rescue my Child ,In my heart Lord I always knew you would save him, for surely you would never allow something so terrible to happen !!!!

By L.J. James AmericanBikerX.com - 29960

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Find a Great Gift for Your Dad

By Alison Phelps

Fathers can be very difficult to shop for. They often aren't open about what kind of gift they want. For that reason we end up getting our dads a tie that looks almost like the one we got a year ago with the handkerchief that looks just like the one we got a year ago. Nevertheless with some thought and planning we can find gifts that will put a GENUINE smile on his face and avoid the same run of the mill gifts he has too many of to even count.

To start, you have to know who you're buying the gift for. This might seem like it should go without saying because you wouldn't buy a gift for someone you don't know and of course if its your Dad. So it seems only natural that you would know him. Still its not always so easy. Many dads work a lot of hours and have to take business trips often. Then of course if your dad is the strong silent type, he may be difficult to get in a conversation even when he is around. Maybe he's also quiet about expressing what he wants because he's the provider and is not used to being the one asking others to get things for him. If your father falls into one of these categories, don't just ask him what he wants, try observing his surroundings. Is he working in his garage or shop every weekend? Try finding that perfect tool to help him with his projects. Is he surrounded by electronics? Try finding that perfect gadget to simplify his life. Is he the Wall Street type? Try finding a nice money clip or stylish dress shoes to go with his business suits. Whatever your father's interests are you can figure out a lot about him just by paying attention to his habits.

Once you have an idea of what type of gift to get, then you can start shopping. Start out with a broad website that can link you to other websites with more specific categories. Then once you've found a related website take your time to look through the various products and select the best option for your dad.

To maximize your time, try shopping at an online store that specializes in gifts for fathers. If you limit your search, you can keep yourself from having to wade through pages of products for women and children. Fathers day websites are a great place to find gifts for fathers for any occasion.

Some fathers can be complicated to find gifts for. On the one hand they normally will be happy with whatever gift you get them but on the other hand it's sometimes difficult to get that very enthusiastic response that you're wishing for when buying a gift. If you follow the tips above you'll have a better chance of finding those gifts that will really wow your special dad, whether fathers day gifts, birthday gifts or gifts for this holiday season. - 29960

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Bad Behavior - Is it just a Phase?

By Dr. Noel Swanson

A common situation that many parents face is dealing with their children's behaviors. For example, let's say you had a five year old child that has just entered school. She was a polite, considerate, and helpful young lady at home and in front of her teachers. However, her behavior has recently changed at home and it involves talking back, swearing, and discussing sex in general terms. She learned these behaviors from other kids at school.

How do I help her to make the right choices about good vs. naughty (one of her friends got her to play hookie ....at 5 years old?!); of what is acceptable and not, when she is away from me and faced with those choices without me being there to guide ?"

That is a great question. First we should discuss the fundamentals regarding this issue.

Kids, like you and me, are doing their best to succeed in life. So their behaviors are their attempts to get good results for themselves, as they themselves would define them. Those "good results" might be to satisfy basic urges such as hunger and warmth, they might be to get approval and love - from their parents, or from their friends, or they might be simply to have fun and excitement.

They will exhibit the behavior they believe will get them the need they have at that time.

They will find that their behaviors don't always result in success. They learn from this and experiment with other behaviors until they find the ones that yield the desired result. When deciding what behavior to have we rely on experience, direction for our parents, and our skills and abilities. We create a group of behaviors that we hope will serve our needs effectively.

Once we find behaviors that seem to pay off well for us, then we tend to stick with them. The more we repeat them, and the more often they work, the more firmly they will be entrenched as our default behavior.

Back to your 5 year old daughter. Her behavior signals that she is in the process of trial and error. She is in a new situation at school and this has expanded her world. She is not sure how to react and is excited and nervous at the same time. She is testing different behaviors to determine which behaviors will yield a successful result.

Your daughter will most likely try a range of behaviors. Many of which will not occur ever again as they didn't work. Some behaviors will become a part of her usual behavior. Which behaviors will your daughter stick to? It really depends on the results of each experience. She is at an age where having your approval and love is very important to her. She needs to see your reaction to her behaviors. Outside reactions from others also play a role. For example, punishments and rewards can be a big influence on her behavior. She will seek the approval of you, her teachers, and her friends.

You have a significant affect on her as her parent. She young so she will listen to you. When she is a teenager things will change. Your influence can show in two ways.

1. Your emotional response - your approval or otherwise of her behaviors.

2. How you control her external environment. You have the power to choose her school, neighbors, and people she will be in contact with. You are the one who can give her punishments and rewards.

Putting all this together, and taking a strategic overview, these are the types of questions you would want to be asking yourself:

Do you think your daughter is just experimenting with her behaviors and that it will pass? If you do, then don't worry about it. She will eventually move on to appropriate behavior. Kids tend to do mischievous things at this age and still end up to be productive adults.

One thing to consideration is the intensity of reaction you demonstrate to bad behavior. Take swearing for example. If you become exasperated every time she swears, she may view swearing as an adventure because she wants to see you get bent out of shape.

If you think that her bad behavior is escalating too much then you need to do something to thwart it.

When this happens you will need to rely on your opinion of the situation. Are you doing all the things you can as a parent? Make sure that you are a positive role model. Remember, you have a significant influence on her.

Next, check out the school and your neighborhood. How have the children who grew up in this neighborhood fared when they grew up? Do they become productive adults or do most of the kids spend time in juvenile detention for most of their teenage years?

Spend time talking with parents and teachers at your school. Each school has a culture and perhaps your daughter is trying to fit into this culture. How concerned are the teachers? Does the behavior of most kids at the school improve as they get older?

Unfortunately, you can't watch over every influence in your child's life. You also can't be 100% sure that your daughter will learn right from wrong. However, you can improve the odds of this. Your influence as a parent is great and you should be a positive role model for your child. - 29960

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Several Baby Care Tips For Nervous Fathers

By Jennifer Ransome

Moms have traditionally occupied the spotlight when it comes to caring for their babies. It's understandable that new dads might feel intimidated by the task. Whether they're putting diapers on them, burping them, or simply holding them while they fall asleep, new fathers are often tentative. They fear they'll do something wrong.

If you're a new (and nervous) father, rest assured that you'll be a pro in no time. Here are three baby care tips that will give you a head start:

Tip 1 - Follow Your Instincts. They're Usually Right.

First-time dads have a common fear when their babies are born: they don't trust themselves. They're accustomed to working on cars, firmly holding rusty tools, and neglecting the subtleties of a soft touch. Add to that the stereotype of the novice father giving his kids healthy slices of birthday cake for breakfast and the anxiety seems reasonable.

Trust your instincts. Parenting is largely about trial and error - for both you and your partner. You'll make mistakes; expect them and learn from them. The worst thing you can do is surrender to your worries and allow your partner to compensate by handling the entire job. Get involved. You'll be thankful you did when your child grows older.

Tip 2 - Learn Proper Handling Techniques

First, retire the anxiety that you'll drop your baby. It rarely ever happens. Quite the opposite, you'll find that holding him is instinctive. The key is to learn how to use your hands in order to properly support him. During his first month, his neck muscles will not be developed, which means he won't be able to support his head. You'll need to do it for him.

When you pick him up, slip one hand beneath his shoulder blades. Position your hand so that it's holding his head while you slip your other hand behind his bottom. Then, lift him slowly.

Tip 3 - Learning To Swaddle

Swaddling is a relatively new parenting technique for soothing and comforting a fussy or frightened baby. Here's how to do it: lay a small blanket on the floor and fold it so that it looks like a 3-pointed diamond. Position it so that one of the points is at the top. Fold that point down a fourth of the way. Next, lay your little one on his back and position him so his head is above the fold.

Loosely wrap the right end of the blanket over his right arm and place that arm on his chest. Then, bring up the point at the bottom so that it covers his feet. Lastly, wrap the remaining portion of the blanket (on your infant's left side) around his right arm. A few tucks here and there, and your baby will feel as if he's back in his mother's womb.

Remember, parenting is a challenge as much as it is a joy. As a new father, look forward to the adventure of raising your baby. With a little attention and a lot of love, you'll soon leave your first-time parenting fears behind you. - 29960

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Durable Quinny Baby Strollers, Buzz Accessories

By Ryan Seymour

Without question, the Quinny Buzz Stroller has ascended to rock star status with young mothers worldwide courtesy of wild designs and colors. You can pick up a number of top notch accessories that can turn your good walking experiences into great ones every time.

For More Storage: Quinny Buzz Box; $49.99

The only real complaint against the Buzz was its lack of storage space, so Quinny's addressed that with this great add-on. Simply attach this box to the Buzz's bottom behind your storage and you'll get even more space to keep the important stuff, like diapers and toys. A rain shield is included here also, so no matter what happens your stuff will stay dry.

Cozy For On The Go Sleep: Quinny Buzz Footmuff; $69.99

The Quinny Buzz Footmuff is a tiny sleeping bag that laces through the harness of your Buzz to give your little one the most comfortable sleeping bag he or she can have on the road. Simply remove the top and your baby is right at your fingertips when you need to remove the Footmuff. It comes in stylish black or sulphur colors. The best part is you don't have to unlace the Footmuff before using the Buzz's auto-folding gas spring.

Protecting Your Stroller: Quinny Buzz Travel Bag; $169.99

Need to hit the road with baby in tow? Keep your Buzz safe in the car by putting it in this high quality travel bag, preventing any kind of scratching or weather damage.

Over The Shoulder Baby Holder: Quinny Curbb Hip Soft Carrier; $79.99

Guys, there's no excuse anymore for not taking Junior for a stroll. Delightfully sexless and simple to adjust, the Quinny Curbb Hip Soft Carrier sports a nice little papoose that you can throw over a shoulder and carry your young one anywhere you want to go -- hands free! You can use the ergonomic Curbb for your left or right side, with baby facing front. It's designed for babies under twenty pounds, but it is capable of holding heavier babies.

Don't Wait For Coffee: Quinny Buzz Cup Holder; $19.99

Don't leave home on an empty stomach, and don't dare walk with a dry throat. Pick up one of these handy cup holders for your delicious drink of choice and you'll be able to face Mother Nature with new courage, even if it's raining and cold outside and you have to run to the store for some diapers.

Keeping Baby Safe From Mother Nature: Sasha's Sun and Insect Cover For the Quinny Buzz

This mesh cover will block out sun rays and irritating bugs so your baby's cute little arms and legs stay happy and healthy rather than cooked and chewed. Sasha's Sun and Insect Cover attaches to the front and the sides, so you'll never have to worry about Mother Nature's tomfoolery again.

Don't hesitate to take baby out for a walk now, because it's only a matter of time until your little one's not so little anymore. Make sure your walking experience is perfect, both for you and the baby, and have fun with some of the most rewarding years of your life! - 29960

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